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Aloha, Devon

We, every one of us, have a set of constants in our lives. These are individuals who, though we may not talk often, are always part of us. Our bonds remain strong despite time and distance, and we’re happy knowing they’re happy and existing in the world.

The problem with constants is that you take their constance for granted.

Devon was one of a handful of my constants. He was constant to hundreds. He was the guy that would send you insanely cheap flight deals. A guy who would read a Facebook post about your trouble selecting a new credit card and subsequently email you a number ridiculously helpful links about a variety of options & benefits. A person who would randomly send songs that reminded him of you, or thought might help you get through a tough time.

We have a hashtag now: #livelikeDevon. I’ve been thinking a lot about what that means, and how we keep the spirit of Devon alive. I think my dear friend Matt put it best:

“I want to eliminate the ‘shoulds’ from my life.”

There are so many of them! “I should call Mom back.” “I should practice that language.” “Yoga pants are more than insanely comfortable hermit-gear; I should really go to yoga.”

Devon didn’t live life in shoulds (well, at least the important shoulds). He lived life in wills. He was a fierce friend who always made you strive to be a better version of yourself.


This post is so perfectly Devon. He missed a friend, and decided to do something about it. There was no half-assed, “I miss you, we should do something soon!” He got on a plane. I can’t remember the last time I did something similar.

A week ago I was supposed to say a final good-bye to to my constant. I couldn’t. I won’t. Because Devon is still going to make us better versions of ourselves. His funeral brought us all together and reminded us of how important our relationships are. He can’t keep making those connections anymore; it’s up to us to keep our rekindled connections strong.

I have a bracelet now, reminding me to #livelikeDevon. It’s one of those dorky Livestrong-esque bracelets he used to wear all the time. So while I can’t promise I’ll wear it always, I do promise to wear it until his good habits become my own. Until I book trips to NYC for NYE and to Japan to see cherry blossoms. Until I start making regular catch-up call dates with my constants, and stop taking them for granted.

Dev, I can’t thank you enough for the time we spent together. This world is a darker place without you in it, but that just means we’ve all got to work that much harder to keep your light shining.

Aloha, friend. See you on the other side.


Published inessays

One Comment

  1. Laura Laura

    Thank you for these living words. Thank you for being such a good friend to my son. Love you.

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